You want a job?!

Sitting in the library besides two first years chatting and discussing the latest facebook revelations, I have to hold my breath not to shout at these harmless yet irritating ‘little people’.
I am in fourth year now you see, a fact made more obvious by the fact I have even invested in a rucksack to cart my ever increasing personal library in and out of university each day. According to my 13 year old sister, rucksacks are the antithesis to cool.

A trip to the careers service to alleviate the situation threw me deeper into fourth year depression turmoil,greeted by: .

''no, no there are no jobs out there..many redundancies in that field''

And when I filled out a quiz to find out what my personality traits should lead me to do, the answer revealed I should work in the careers service. I tried to explain I didn’t want a career trying to help other people find out their careers.

Everyone has their story of a ‘friend’ who has graduated from Oxford with a first, a rucksack of experience and are still unemployed. I feel about as motivated as David Miliband serving under Ed Miliband. Meanwhile we are slaving away to get a degree which is probably going to leave us unemployed regardless.
The new hot question;

So what are you doing next year?

brings everyone out in pimples except for the smug few who have it all sorted. I might start to ignore such people.
Luckily for me I am learning Quechua this year, a language spoken by a million tribal people in Bolivia and Peru, who let’s face it I will never meet and when I do I will have completely forgotten that ‘imaynalla kashanki’ means how are you. This is obviously going to be the key in getting a job in London.
The other day I went to a jobs fair and ended up talking to the prison service...(don’t ask, desperate measures and all that..)
1. You have an online test and IF YOU GET THROUGH THAT.
2. You have an assessment day and IF YOU GET THROUGH THAT
3. You have a joint interview and IF YOU GET THROUGH THAT
4. You have a single interview and IF YOU GET THROUGH THAT
5. You have a job trial and IF YOU GET THROUGH THAT
6. You get to work in a PRISON.

In case you think you’re sorted remember that nowadays, you need a postgraduate diploma to become a librarian. Oh dear.