Friday, 24 June 2011

Wimbledon Stereotypes

Gordon and Shirley
Gordon and Shirley go to Wimbledon every year, they drive from the country to London at the crack of dawn just to ensure that they definitely, under no circumstances, will possibly be late.
They are, what we might call, the 'what if' couple. They really have thought about every last detail for their big day out, in fact Shirley even keeps a list.
Wimbledon checklist:
Sunhat -
Sun lotion -
Rain coat -
Umbrella -
Snacks -
Tea flask -
Rug -
They are the king and queen of practicality, Gordon also has a copy of the financial times, the economist and a 100 sudoko puzzles (rainbreak entertainment you see!). Why should Shirley wear normal sandals when she can wear her robust, well padded, multi-terrain, velcro sandals?
Gordon's friends joke that he is stingy, he sees it as sensible. Why go to a cafĂ© and spend £15.00 on sandwiches and drinks if you can sit under the brolly on court having a pre-prepared snack? However, in 1999, Shirley did pop out and spend a fiver on ice cold water - in her defence it was 35 degrees. They leave court at exactly 7pm, after the rush hour yet before the Wimbledon rush.

The Businessman

Paul is at Wimbledon on business, he eats lunch at an upmarket restaurant where one would struggle to leave without spending £100 + on minimilistic fine dining. Obviously this is on business expenses.
Lunch is followed by a brief encounter with centre court, however he isn't entirely disappointed that after 45 minutes of play there is a rainbreak. He heads back to the bar with his clients for beers and pimms. The truth is Paul hates tennis. Luckily for him when the 'tennis chats' commence, he simply glances at his 'comprehensive guide to Wimbledon' iphone application to appear informed on the matter.

The American

Twitter: 'OMG, I am totally at centre court at Wimbledon, it's like sooo cute and British here'. - uploads photo imminently.

The debenture holder

These people wear a badge just so their message is completely clear:
'Unlike the rest of you plebs, we can buy seats for the whole of Wimbledon, for years'.
They dress in expensive outfits, hang out in the VIP restaurant (even Paul can't go here) and generally have a jolly good time!

The Ladies who Lunch

Wendy and Anne talk about anything and everything from gossip to well, more gossip whether it is break-point, match-point or the final. No matter how many evil glances Gordon sends their way, they are not perturbed.