Sunday, 26 December 2010

student's guide to 2010 festive season

The week before christmas..

So this Christmas week will be full of those awkward family friend Christmas parties (well there might be a few, would hate to exaggerate my popularity). People will ask me of my plans for next year; I will look at them blankly before admitting I do not have any. They will inform me their son has just got a graduate job with some bank I have never heard of, I will chug back my mulled wine in a rather quick manner.

I ring up my mother telling her what I want and she tells me what she wants, several urgent texts are sent to assure that there is absolutely no mix up. Why on earth do we not just buy our own presents!? This would save the phone bill, save all this hassle and worry. As my friend put it: ‘why do we spend a fortune on shit presents that nobody wants!?’


’Dad, my student loan appears to have run out, any chance you could put some more money in so I can get home for Christmas this year?
Kind regards Laura

Empathy should win them over. I have one friend who told her dad she had been mugged as she was so desperate for money and another who sold her mums ring. There is something slightly harsh about this and making your mother believe she is going senile.

Round robin letters are the ridiculous of the ridiculous..

’whilst it is sub zero temperatures in Britain, in Greece it is 22 degrees and I manage to play golf without a jumper on’.
Why us this completely necessary?
Then they arrogantly say ‘so I hear you asking what the children are doing?’
‘no no just because we shared an office once doesn’t mean that 20 years later i give a flying toss about how great your children are’ (just to clarify these are usually the parent’s friends).. People don’t write round robin letters when something bad happens...Sue died of cancer.....Chris failed his A levels. No they are just excuses for a bit of pomposity.